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Stage Fright: How It Can Be Relieved, Managed and Healed

1811 - Sept 2021

1. IS STAGE FRIGHT SOMETHING THAT REALLY CAN BE HEALED?

Yes, I believe it can be healed and that even someone with tremendous fear being in front of the room can learn to overcome that fear. Three things are necessary for the person who is afraid. First, they really have to have a strong desire to overcome the fear that they have. Second, they have to be patient and persistent. And Third, they have to let go of any timeline associated with this journey. After that, they need to be guided with a loving hand and taught that performing need not be a terrible experience.

If they have had bad experiences in the past, they need to remember that the past is not the present and, in the moment of now, all things can be seen differently and interpreted differently, healed and transformed.

Sometimes all it takes is seeing something through a different perspective and what was scary can change into something fun and wonderful. It is all how you perceive it. 

2. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS OFTEN WITH YOUR STUDENTS?

Oh yes! I have seen that this is a shared fear by most performers. It is very unusual for a performer to be completely relaxed about performing right from the beginning. Almost all singers that I have known, have some amount of fear to deal with in regards to singing and performing. The ways of dealing with this vary as much as the singers vary. Everyone has their own relationship to this issue. I have had a few singers through my years of teaching who just never got afraid, but that was most unusual. And a few out of so many is really amazing. It is most uncommon. 

Some level of fear for stage fright is present for almost everyone in varying degrees and it is always something to manage. There are some singers who I have met who are quite famous and seem so confident on stage who are just a mess behind the scenes. That is more common than you might think. I’ve also seen singers who are professionals and who are not used to being that  afraid anymore, suddenly have the feeling of being terrified and scared to go out on to the stage. However, since the person is a professional, they can often manage to get a hold of their feelings and make it through anyway. We are all vulnerable to changing circumstances and sometimes things happen and we suddenly lose our footing.

3. HOW DOES SOMEONE MANAGE THEIR STAGE FRIGHT WHEN IT SUDDENLY APPEARS LIKE THAT?

When you suddenly find yourself afraid, it is very useful to remember that fear and anxiety and stage fright are all feelings. And, as the saying goes, feelings are not facts.Singing is a very emotional thing to do. You have to learn to become comfortable with your own feelings as you learn to sing and learn to become a performer. 

Most often, when someone is frightened before a performance, or even in a class, they are having some kind of inner dialogue that is not supportive and they have fallen back into judging themselves or thinking about how the audience is going to judge them. We have talked about that before. That Judgmental Mode comes up again out of nowhere and it's off to the races. In your fear, you can really get confused and start to think all sorts of things that may add to your stress.And, if you are focused on what you are afraid of at that moment, you are not focusing on the task at hand. By the very fact of being in the state of judging anything, you have left the moment, and that shift of focus away from the singing means that you are no longer in the present moment. You are either looking backward to past memories or looking forward to imagined events. Since only the present moment can really be authentic, you have actually stepped away from the act of singing and performing and then that can be really scary. 

4. WHAT THEN SHOULD YOU FOCUS ON?

So, if you can recognize that the judging is actually coming from your own mind, since nothing has actually happened yet, it is all so much easier to deal with. And, it is also useful to remember that the thoughts of the audience are their thoughts and are really not your concern. You have no control whatsoever over the thoughts of the listeners. What they are thinking is really none of your business! It is much more important to keep the focus on yourself. Remove Your focus from them and singing on stage becomes easier. You are now focused upon the right things. 

Your real business is to sing the song the best way you can. That is your real job out there. You are not there to have people like or approve of you. You are not there to have people like your voice! As you're singing, any given audience member could be thinking of a million things that have nothing at all to do with you. They might have had a difficult day and are having a hard time getting relaxed. It could be a million things! If you focus on them, you will surely get lost.

You are not going up on a stage to try to please and second guess the audience anyway. You are going on to a stage to sing, deliver something through the message of the song, to serve the people in the room, to share something, to entertain, to console, to comfort, to inspire... to teach something by singing… you are not there to get anything. You are there to give. 

5. HOW ELSE DO YOU LEARN TO MANAGE STAGE FRIGHT?

One way to manage being afraid is to identify what you are afraid of and then pursue its healing.

Many singers who experience stage fright start off by saying that they are afraid of singing. I actually believe that very few people are afraid of singing. They are really afraid of other things. Many people who have fear of singing on stage have not had supportive people in their past. Some are afraid of being embarrassed or shamed or sounding bad or looking bad. Most of these things can be traced to their early life in one way or another. Sometimes the person has had an abusive past and will need a professional to help them sort things out. However, so often it turns out that it was not singing itself that made them scared. It is always the idea of singing which is somehow competing with some kind of negative thoughts inside that are the real issue. Healing the inner wounds that have you feeling less than your best self is a big job. That is something that takes time and determination. It is very useful to performers to explore some kind of self examination to heal their hearts of things that seem to block them.

6. WHAT ARE SOME OF THE OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO?

Well, while you are doing that, you can also begin to heal by learning all about the many facets of singing and performing. Learning your craft and making sure you are ready to try live performing and being  prepared is a good start. Starting to perform somewhere safe is very important.mIf you do not feel comfortable singing in front of people you know, I often encourage new performers to begin by going to a Karaoke Bar. And maybe they should go at first just to observe; do not even sing at first. Just check the place out. I will tell them to go out and have a fun night as they picture themselves up on stage having fun. 

Sometimes, if they can see it first and see that it is not so bad, that is a big help. As they learn more and more and begin to get brave enough to try, I encourage them to go somewhere where they don’t know anyone and just try. This way the stakes are very low. If they start without too much pressure and begin to associate the experience of singing and performing with fun rather than pain, they will adapt more quickly and perhaps be more gentle with themselves.

7. WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOUR TEACHERS TAUGHT YOU?

Well, my voice teacher said that singers who get stage fright from auditioning should do 100 auditions before they even judge anything so they have time to learn to audition. Now they have classes to learn to audition and you can practice along with media streams to learn your craft. It is much easier these days to train yourself at home.That is no guarantee that you will not get scared at first, but it is a big help.I also studied with Conductors and they were very focused on perfecting your musicianship before you introduced yourself to anyone  and began looking for places to sing. Opera is very strict. But every performer knows that rehearsals are key to keeping your nerves calmer for performance.

A very wise man who was a teacher of mine for many years said to me once that when you find yourself swirling in fear or anxiety, try to remember the leaves swirling around outside in the Fall. See them swirling around as they do in the fall… And then, in your mind, just grab one leaf. That usually stops the swirling. 

In other words, shift your focus to one thing instead of thinking of many things at once. This helps to slow down the internal dialogue. The feeling of fright is usually not a simple feeling. It is usually loaded with many other negative impressions which are memories from the past or imaginations of what could or might go wrong. By pulling one leaf with your mind and shifting the focus to only one thing, like the melody or the lyrics of one of your songs, the mind slows down automatically. 

8. ARE THERE YOGA BREATHING EXERCISES TO CALM YOUR FEAR OF PERFORMING?

Oh certainly. Taking a breath deeply and slowly is also another way to manage deep stage fright. 

Last week, we talked about a Yoga Breathing Technique called Long Deep Breathing. This is a great place to apply this technique. Slowing down the breath slows down the emotions 

and the mind racing is usually caused by fear, and helps one to return to some kind of a balanced centered feeling. Also, if at the same time, you can change the inner dialogue to something positive, you can often slow down enough to regain some bit of confidence in the moment. 

There are two of them that come to mind. Sitali Pranayama is one that I like very much and another one, which is a very good one and very easy to do, called Alternate Nostril Breathing which calms the nerves and slows down the mind. It helps you to release fear and restores a sense of balance.

9. WOULD YOU SHOW US HOW TO DO THAT ONE?

Alternate Nostril Breathing is a very ancient technique and it is very effective and very easy to do.

Using your right hand, close your Right Nostril with your thumb and inhale through your Left Nostril.

Then, release your thumb and with your pinky close the Left Nostril, and exhale out through your Right Nostril.

Then just continue to repeat that to the time amount of your choosing. That is the entire exercise. 

The amount of time that you spend on this will determine just how relaxed you become. The longer you breathe this way, the more relaxed you become. I love that it is so simple and so effective.

10. ANYTHING ELSE? ANY COMMENTS?

Yes, remember to be proud of yourself for even trying to do this. 

Congratulate yourself for being so brave.

Keep trying until it really becomes fun. 

Don’t give up! Everyone has a right to enjoy singing.